Client #5

I came back to work today after being escorted by the officer who had been placed to make sure nothing was going to happen to me. I took a case that another Ender in my department interviewed for last week to help pick up the slack I had left behind. We didn't expect any problems but an officer waited outside the house while I went inside to do my job.

It felt a little weird to start again after so long. I felt a little scared. What if this guy would turn out to be psychotic too? What if I got hurt right here? I shook these fears and knocked on the door. A guy in his mid-30s opened the door named T. He was slobbishly dressed was just getting ready to clean up a massive pile of plates. His Other had specified that after 3 years of dating she was tired of his inability to do anything at all really. He hadn't had a job for about 5 months but what was worse was he hadn't much of a spark for anything for an even longer time.

I tried to tell T. all this and explain that his girlfriend wanted him to move out as soon as possible. He sat silent for a moment. Then tried to speak but kept stopping as if he wanted to carefully choose his words. He managed to say, "But I loved her." finally.

I told him I was sorry but that in this situation his girlfriend had specified that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship. He was silent for a seconds before he brought his hand up to his face and pinched down on the bridge of his nose. He took a few sharp breathes and shuddered. I realized he was crying.

"So what do I do now, how do I move on with my life."

He sobbed silently for a few moments and then I told him that I don't have those answers. I was just doing my job.

I didn't feel bad for T. I thought there was something wrong with me when I realized this. That I had become numb by everything going on around me. I began to wonder if this is just the way life was.

I started to think about Keith. How could we be together knowing what we know. That love fades. Romance is dead

I kept thinking about this all day until I left with Rachel to go babysit me at my place. We were driving back when I just had to ask her a question.

"How do you see what you see everyday and not think every relationship is doomed?"

"I guess I just think these guys just weren't cut out for each other. Not that there is a someone out there. But sometimes you just need to live life with someone. You can't say you just don't want someone sometimes."

What she said was true but what if it was never about the person just the someone.

"Rachel have you ever slept with any of these guys you see?

"Well I don't make it a habit, but it does happen. It's just sex."

I smiled a little when she said that as I realized we were at the door to the apartment.